There’s an invisible contract that comes with financial dependence, one you never agreed to, but somehow, you’re expected to follow. No one says it outright, but you feel it in every interaction, in every unspoken rule that dictates how you should exist in a space you don’t financially contribute to.
Rule #1: Be Extra Agreeable.
You learn quickly that your opinions carry less weight when you’re not paying the bills. Decisions—big or small—happen around you, not with you. And if you do speak up, there’s an unspoken understanding: you better tread lightly. After all, who are you to complain when you’re not the one funding the life you live?
Rule #2: Always Show Gratitude.
Gratitude isn’t just encouraged, it’s expected. Not once, not twice, but constantly. You say “thank you” so often it starts to lose meaning, but stopping isn’t an option. The moment you forget to express how appreciative you are, there’s a shift in the air, a subtle reminder that you should always remember your place.
Rule #3: Your Needs Come Last.
There’s an unspoken hierarchy in the household, and you’ve somehow landed at the bottom. You don’t feel entitled to ask for things, even when they’re basic needs. You hesitate before mentioning that you need new shoes or a haircut, because in your mind, those things are luxuries now. You tell yourself, I’ll ask later, but later rarely comes.
Rule #4: Never Complain.
It doesn’t matter how hard things feel, how suffocating the dependence becomes—you don’t get to complain. Because the moment you do, someone is there to remind you, “At least you don’t have to worry about money.” As if that erases the weight of feeling powerless. As if that should be enough to make you grateful, no matter how much you’re struggling.
Rule #5: Be Available, But Not in the Way That Matters.
You’re expected to contribute in every way possible—chores, errands, emotional support, but when it comes to decisions, respect, or even simple recognition, you’re suddenly invisible. You’re good enough to help, but not enough to be truly seen.
The hardest part about these unspoken rules? You don’t even realize you’re following them until one day, you wake up and realize you’ve shrunk. You take up less space, you speak less, you ask for less, because somewhere along the way, you internalized the idea that needing help means losing your right to more.
But here’s the truth: dependence does not make you lesser. Your worth isn’t dictated by your financial status. You don’t owe the world silence in exchange for survival.
Unemployment may take your paycheck, but it won’t take your voice. Keep fighting, keep believing—your worth is bigger than a salary.
Comments
Post a Comment